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Post by TexasBlue on Thu Apr 07, 2011 3:11 pm

Gaddafi likes this. ROFL


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“I’m not in favor of fairness. I’m in favor of freedom, and freedom is not fairness. Fairness means somebody has to decide what’s fair.” - Milton Friedman
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Post by The_Amber_Spyglass on Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:14 am

Real story:

Leicester City Council 'not ready' for zombie attack

Funny news stories/Spoof news - Page 2 _53343826_zombies

A worried member of the public has forced Leicester City Council to admit it is unprepared for a zombie invasion.

The authority received a Freedom of Information request which said provisions to deal with an attack, often seen in horror films, were poor.

The "concerned citizen" said the possibility of such an event was one that councils should be aware of.

"We've had a few wacky ones before but this one did make us laugh," said Lynn Wyeth, head of information governance.

The Freedom of Information Act allows a right of access to recorded information held by public authorities.

Ms Wyeth said she was unaware of any specific reference to a zombie attack in the council's emergency plan, however some elements of it could be applied if the situation arose.

Other submissions to the council have included requests for records of paranormal activity and haunted buildings within the city.

"To you it might seem frivolous and a waste of time... but to different people it actually means something," said Ms Wyeth.

"Everybody has their own interests and their own reasons for asking these questions."

She added high-profile cases, such as the MPs expenses scandal, has raised public awareness of the right to request information records.

Ed Thurlow, who runs zombie website Terror4Fun, said he felt a zombie invasion in Leicester was highly unlikely.

"I think perhaps [the "Concerned Citizen"] has watched films like 28 Days Later a few too many times."

Dear Leicester City Council,

Can you please let us know what provisions you have in place in the event of a zombie invasion? Having watched several films it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor and one that councils throughout the kingdom must prepare for.

Please provide any information you may have.

Yours faithfully,

Concerned Citizen

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-13713798
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Post by dblboggie on Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:13 pm

ROFL Time for that concerned citizen to start breaking those pills in half. ROFL
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Post by The_Amber_Spyglass on Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:45 am

Gaddafi puts ICC arrest warrant behind mantelpiece clock with all the others

Under-fire Libyan leader colonel Gaddafi has reacted the International Criminal Court arrest warrant in his name by placing it behind the clock on the mantelpiece with all the other documents of international condemnation.

The ICC issued the arrest warrant in the misguided belief that learning he isn’t very popular would spur Gaddafi to surrender to the UN forces outside Libya.

Military analyst Mike Shane told us, “It seems the ICC plan was to make him give up his murderous campaign by issuing a document saying we’re not very happy about it.”

“For the life of me I can’t seem to understand why this hasn’t worked.”

“I don’t think we can be any clearer about our attitude towards his behaviour, and unfortunately there are very few formal documents was can issue with his name on it that adequately articulate our feelings on the matter.”

Gaddafi Arrest Warrant

Libyan insiders say that Gaddafi picked up the arrest warrant from his doormat, along with all his other post, whilst making breakfast in his dressing gown on Tuesday.

An aide told us, “Oh, the ICC arrest warrant? Yeah, I saw that. It’s right there between to UN Security Council resolution 1973 and the menu from Domino’s Pizza. Unless the recycling bins have been collected already.”

“I think it’s fair to say the arrest warrant left him slightly less angry than yet another Reader’s Digest award telling him he’d probably won another £100,000.”

“Someone should really do something about those scam artists.”

http://newsthump.com/2011/06/29/gaddafi-puts-icc-arrest-warrant-behind-mantelpiece-clock-with-all-the-others/

Puts me in mind of the scene in "Team America: World Police" where Hans Blix tells Kim Jong Il that he had better stop building nukes. Kim Jong Il asks him what he would do about it and Hans Blix states "we'll get very angry and you'll get a strongly worded letter telling you just how angry we are".

Very Happy
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Post by TexasBlue on Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:41 pm

The_Amber_Spyglass wrote:Puts me in mind of the scene in "Team America: World Police" where Hans Blix tells Kim Jong Il that he had better stop building nukes. Kim Jong Il asks him what he would do about it and Hans Blix states "we'll get very angry and you'll get a strongly worded letter telling you just how angry we are".

Very Happy

lol

But it's the UN and their set ways of doing things. Big Grin
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Post by The_Amber_Spyglass on Fri Jul 01, 2011 6:54 am

Ed Milibot fails Turing Test

Ed Milibot 2.0, the labour leadership robot, has failed spectacularly in its latest attempts to convince the general public that under interview conditions it can communicate like a real live human being.

The latest attempt to pass the famous Turing test came during an interview regarding yesterday’s public sector strikes in which the robot was caught in a continuous loop of tedious pre-prepared audio sound-bites.

Software engineer Mike Williams told us, “We’ve long felt that a politician robot stands the best chance of passing the Turing test, as the real ones rarely take note of the question asked, and tend to deliver only the answer they prepared hours earlier.”

“The trick is to not keep delivering that same answer, to consecutive questions, time and time again – regardless of the words leaving the interviewers mouth.”

“If they can master that, we might have a functioning robot political leader within a few years.”

“As it is, this one will probably be melted down, which to be honest we should have finished after someone accidentally melted shut it’s nasal cavity a few years ago.”

Ed Milibot

The attempt to pass the Turing test was cut short when one of the Milibots engineers came into the room to smack it round the back of the head, muttering “bloody piece of shit”.

Another said, “I hope this latest robotic disaster has proven once and for all that machines can not think, and I see no reason for us to continue in the childish pursuit of trying to prove they can.  It’s getting embarrassing.”

“Let’s leave the Milibot to make tea and run a vacuum around the place every now and again, and leave the politics to real human beings.”

NewsThump
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