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Rules Kids Won't Learn In School

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Post by TexasBlue Thu Mar 18, 2010 10:02 am

From Charles J. Sykes, author of the book Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write, Or Add:

Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.

Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)

Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)

Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.
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Post by BubbleBliss Mon Mar 22, 2010 1:19 pm

TexasBlue wrote:From Charles J. Sykes, author of the book Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write, Or Add:

Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.

My teachers told kids this anytime somebody said 'that's not fair' even though sometimes it really wasn't fair.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

I dunno about this. You have to be confident and belief in yourself in order to do well at work or even to get a job whereas you only has to be confident in school in order to score with the ladies.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

ROFL Who has car phones nowadays? Most teachers I've had make it extremely clear that you won't make sh!t with only a HS diploma and no college education.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.

No teacher has ever asked me how I feel about screwing up. Having a tough teacher and a tough boss are also 2 different things, IMO. Your boss will leave you alone and let you work independently as long as your job performance is good. Your teacher is always on your back telling you when to go to the bathroom, what to write down, what to study, etc.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

The old "From rags to riches" story, huh? I agree, but what's sad is that some parents don't want their kids to flip burgers because it somehow reflects upon their family negatively. Also, my grandparent's generation wasn't nearly as materialistic as we are today. They didn't have as many things to spend their money on. There were no flat screens, computers, lab tops, IPods, etc. they had the radio and books and that was their form of entertainment.

And Kurt Cobain has been dead for a long time now, nowadays people talk about sh!t like "The Real World", "The Bachelor" and all those mind numbing shows.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

This is partially true. It's a strange thing that kids mostly act like their parents when they grow up. People who had abusive parents are more likely to be abusive, people that had alcoholics as parents are more likely to become alcoholics, etc.
So yes, sometimes it is the parent's fault. Also, if my parents let me crawl onto the lit stove or let me play with a knife when I was little, it's most likely their fault when there's something physically wrong with me.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

That's the cost of parenthood. I wouldn't only attribute it to parenthood though but also to age.

And most of the teenagers who are serious about saving the environment do not have a dirty closet. Matter of fact, most of the teenagers I know don't have a dirty closet, it's more like the whole room.

But one shouldn't knock the idealism of the young. If it wasn't for that, we wouldn't be where we are today.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)

Though I've never had a failing grade, I know plenty of people who have. Even though the "No Child Left Behind Act" drives teachers to throw tons of extra credit at students who are in danger of failing, there still are failing grades and valedictorians, they just don't call them that anymore, now it's things like "The Dean's List", "Award for academic excellence", etc.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)

You mean, no Spring Break in Florida or Mexico with drunk girls flashing their goodies or dry humping a pole up on a stage? :sad:

There are lots of jobs who encourage your self-expression in forms of ideas for the company, though I don't think that companies help you find yourself unless you realize that what your company is doing is morally unacceptable or anything of the sort.


TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.

That's college life. Very Happy
Even though problems aren't solved in 30 minutes then.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Don't only be nice to nerds, be nice to everyone, it can only benefit you in the end.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Thankfully these kids smoke because they think it's the grownup thing to do which would therefore make them look cool. Way to be a role model, adult smokers.

And I'd rather have my kid have purple hair and pierced body parts when he/she is a teenager than when he's 25-30 years old because at that time, he/she could kiss a good job good-bye.

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

This one is for you, Tex. ROFL

TexasBlue wrote:

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.

Yeah, it was nice to not have to go to school, have mommy lay out all my clothes for me, give me rides to my friend's houses and not having to do anything around the house or elsewhere for that matter. But you gotta do what you gotta do!
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Post by TexasBlue Mon Mar 22, 2010 4:46 pm

I think this author was basically getting to the gist of today's materialistic generation. Kids these days have been coddled too much. Life is hard. It ain't easy. One has to work for what they want... whatever it is.

Not going to be on much or for very long this week. I'm at the p.o. all week long. So, if my responses are quick and to the point, that's why.
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Post by BubbleBliss Wed Mar 24, 2010 10:25 am

TexasBlue wrote:I think this author was basically getting to the gist of today's materialistic generation. Kids these days have been coddled too much. Life is hard. It ain't easy. One has to work for what they want... whatever it is.

Not going to be on much or for very long this week. I'm at the p.o. all week long. So, if my responses are quick and to the point, that's why.

Yup, and the fact that one has to go to College for virtually everything nowadays isn't helping this. Not to mention the fact that kids over here are treated like children until they reach College, and then they let it all hang out because they finally have some freedom and are old enough to drink. This just happens to be during the most crucial years of their lives, not a good time to allow them to drink and party all night for the first time in their lives.

No problemo, I got school to deal with anyways.
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Post by TexasBlue Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:07 pm

Parents are also part of the problem. Some are over-protective. In some cases, it's understandable. In other cases, you gotta let the kid learn by mistakes they make instead of coddling them.

Yep, been some long days for me this week. Fun but tiring. Laughing
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Post by The_Amber_Spyglass Fri Mar 26, 2010 9:58 am

TexasBlue wrote: Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.
Got to lol at that one but there's nothing wrong with wanting a fair society, or trying your damnedest to make it as fair as possible. Perhaps if we all complained more about things that weren't fair, and did something about it, we'd live in a better world. Nothing worse than apathy in life. As the saying goes, evil triumphs when good people do nothing.

TexasBlue wrote: Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair.
Self esteem is important but it is important that we gain self-esteem from our hard work and sense of achievement.

TexasBlue wrote: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.
No, you'll only get those things if daddy is CEO Razz

TexasBlue wrote: Rule No. 4:[/b] If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.
I disagree. I think teachers were harder. Bosses treat you like adults. Good bosses don't seek to apportion blame because that achieves nothing, but allows you to see where you have gone wrong and give you the opportunity to get it right. I can't say the same of teachers. If you fail an essay, tough luck, you are not going to get a chance to rewrite it..

TexasBlue wrote: Rule No. 5:[/b] Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.
Ah the old myth of rags-to-riches. Doesn't happen actually, I know you call it "The American Dream" but it happens so rarely as to be a MYTH and a SCAM. In reality, few people flipping burgers end up with Executive jobs in McDonalds Wink

Nothing wrong with those sorts of jobs, but why poor scorn on people who aspire to more? This "rule" almost seems like a contradictory statement. We should all aspire to be something more, but the author is pouring scorn on people who do. Huh?!

And it isn't always snobbery where people keep away from these jobs. I did retail for 8 years, I don't ever want to go back because I hated it that much in the end.

TexasBlue wrote: It's not your parents' fault.
Who really blames their parents though?

TexasBlue wrote: Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now.
No because society drummed the idealism out of them. Be proud you still have yours! Very Happy

TexasBlue wrote: Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)
This is one I can agree with. They're in for a shock when they reach university that's for sure. Of course, people are academic in different ways. I hate exams, always have and always will. I got thoroughly average exam marks even at university. My best marks are in my reserach projects and I got a 1st class mark for my undergraduate dissertation (the highest grade grouping you can get) yet even my uni exam marks were average. I know I'm not stupid, I have an MA now, but exams were not for me. It is important to identify that people perform better through different methods. Dumping exams in some areas for different project types isn't dumbing down, dissertations are not easy (the often represent a majority proportion of the final year's mark) but big year-long research projects were obviously my medium.

TexasBlue wrote: Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Not even Easter break.
This is a bit of a straw man. How many teenagers must get jobs while studying in order to keep themselves financially afloat, often against the wishes of the college/university? Most of my uni friends worked in the holidays, as did I, and I was fortunate enough to be required at my old job and earn the equivalent of the wage I was earning prior to going back to university. They also have academic projects to do during the holidays which mean they have LESS time off than when they will when working in a job. Clearly, the gap between the perception and the reality of academic life is vast. Perhaps the author has succumbed to how television portrays schools, colleges and universities that he warns kids against succumbing to? It isn't all like Porkies, or Road Trip, or American Pie where they have sex, drink, do drugs and sometimes, just sometimes go to a lecture that lasts 5 minutes.

TexasBlue wrote: While we're at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself.
I find that a shame. For me, job satisfaction is more important than the money I will get from doing it. Of course I don't want poor wages but a choice to earn a decent wage in a job I love or make millionaire in three years in a job I won't feel fulfilled in, there is no contest for me. I've seen what avarice does to people. They do their mundane jobs, they trudge home zombie like to their large houses full of gadgets, they watch inane crap on the television and at the weekend they waste their money on getting sh!t-faced on bland tasting alcohol. Then they do the same for another week. For me, money is a means to an end, not an end in itself.

TexasBlue wrote:Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.
That's a shame. Actually, having worked in an office I would say the TV sitcom "The Office" isn't far off real working life in an office environment.

TexasBlue wrote: Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
Yes. They built your computers and your ipods, your smart phones and your games consoles. Nerds drive technology and they do it through aspiring to being more than a burger flipper. They do it through love of the subjects they are nerds at.

TexasBlue wrote:Smoking does not make you look cool.
Turns your fingers yellow, makes your breath stink and is a waste of money. Save up the money you spend on cigarettes and use it to see a part of the world.

TexasBlue wrote:You are not immortal.
No, but neither are you a zombie. By all means enjoy life to the full but remember it is the only one your have.

TexasBlue wrote:Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.
Being a kid is over-rated. I much prefer being in my 30s Very Happy
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Post by TexasBlue Fri Mar 26, 2010 4:41 pm

Well, i disagree on some issues. Flipping burgers isn't for those who graduate from school. It's a job that those in school do. I'm talking high school. There's kids who think that's below them.

The "American Dream" is what ya make of it. That phrase is geared more to those who immigrate here from whatever shithole they came from. I've seen tons of people immigrate here from a bad environment and make the most of their opportunity and they succeeded at their life better than even i did. That's a good thing.
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Post by The_Amber_Spyglass Sat Mar 27, 2010 4:50 am

TexasBlue wrote:Well, i disagree on some issues. Flipping burgers isn't for those who graduate from school. It's a job that those in school do. I'm talking high school. There's kids who think that's below them.
Yeah, that's fair enough. Can't argue with that.
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Post by TexasBlue Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:50 am

The_Amber_Spyglass wrote:
TexasBlue wrote:Well, i disagree on some issues. Flipping burgers isn't for those who graduate from school. It's a job that those in school do. I'm talking high school. There's kids who think that's below them.
Yeah, that's fair enough. Can't argue with that.

Some would argue that full grown adults work in these jobs... which may be the case. But if someone is expecting to make $20 an hour flipping burgers, then they deserve to flip burgers for minimum wage for the rest of their lives based on that expectation alone.

What do people make working in fast food places in the UK? Here, it's minimum wage which is $7.25 per hour. An individual state can also have a minimum wage as long as it's not under the federal law. California, i think, has one that pays more.
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Post by The_Amber_Spyglass Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:43 am

TexasBlue wrote:What do people make working in fast food places in the UK? Here, it's minimum wage which is $7.25 per hour. An individual state can also have a minimum wage as long as it's not under the federal law. California, i think, has one that pays more.
They also make minimum wage which I think is about £5.80. Most people who work there are A-Level students (6th form college which is between school and university).
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Post by BubbleBliss Sun Mar 28, 2010 10:35 am

TexasBlue wrote:Parents are also part of the problem. Some are over-protective. In some cases, it's understandable. In other cases, you gotta let the kid learn by mistakes they make instead of coddling them.

Yep, been some long days for me this week. Fun but tiring. Laughing

My mom helped one of her friends move yesterday. The guy has leukemia so he can't really lift anything heavy and instead of hiring 2 men and a truck, they invite 2 neighbors to help them carry stuff and my mom was there too. They hadn't packed any of their stuff except for their clothes and they were moving from a small town outside of Lexington into the deep country over an hour away from the next hospital. Good choice, IMO, if you have a husband with Leukemia! affraid
Anyways, so my mom went into this room and there were about 5 rifles laying around. She said something like she wasn't comfortable around all these guns and that she didn't want to carry them out to the car (they weren't even in a case or anything). So the Leukemia guy said something about "Stupid Germans and their fear of guns" or something (and he's married to a German as well, that's how my mom knows them). He then said that they weren't loaded anyways. So after a while, somebody else moved the rifles but there was still a pistol lying around so my mom picked it up and put it out to the truck. The guy came running and told her to be careful because that gun was loaded and ready to fire.
And this was the same guy who would not let his son go 50 feet into the soccer field because he thought it was too dangerous. His son is 11 or so and he's only allowed to watch Cartoons, no real movies. Needless to say, the Dad is extremely overprotective yet he has a loaded gun lying around with his son running around.... his son could have picked that up easily and nobody would have noticed.
That's what I like about overprotective parents, they always have 1 certain thing that they think is okay if their kid is exposed to, whether it's violent video games, violent TV, unlimited computer access, etc.
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Post by TexasBlue Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:27 am

The_Amber_Spyglass wrote:They also make minimum wage which I think is about £5.80. Most people who work there are A-Level students (6th form college which is between school and university).

Comes to about $8-something an hour here.
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Post by TexasBlue Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:30 am

That guy doesn't have his priorities in order. Responsible gun owners will keep them under lock and key.
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Post by BubbleBliss Mon Mar 29, 2010 6:45 am

TexasBlue wrote:That guy doesn't have his priorities in order. Responsible gun owners will keep them under lock and key.

Well, to his defense, he does keep them in a safe normally, the rifles at least. But to have them lying around like that for even those couple of hours is unacceptable to me.


ps: Germany doesn't have minimum wage. Surprised?
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Post by TexasBlue Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:12 am

BubbleBliss wrote:Well, to his defense, he does keep them in a safe normally, the rifles at least. But to have them lying around like that for even those couple of hours is unacceptable to me.


ps: Germany doesn't have minimum wage. Surprised?

Yeah, that's what i mean. If you leave things out, you're asking for trouble.

Yeah, i'm surprised at that (minimum wage). Here, it should be a state issue, not the fed.
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Post by BubbleBliss Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:44 am

Exactly. Some people just don't have a brain in their head...

Well the main reason why we don't have minimum wage is because we have what are called "1 Euro Jobs". You don't literally earn 1 Euro, but you work part time for a low wage, but it allows you to work several jobs a day/week/month without having to pay an extra burden of taxes. Obviously a minimum wage would take this opportunity away from several people who rely on this program because small businesses just could not afford to pay 7 Euros an hour to these people. A lot of times these people do things like shoveling snow, picking up trash, or other jobs that are temporary and the duration depends on circumstances.
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